Top Ten Clues that Liel is an FBI Agent:
10. Dark suit. Dark glasses. Head mics.
9. Dark hair.
8. Perfect disguise: LDS international student.
7. Accidentally tried to put her rifle in her holster and had to pretend she was being a cowboy for Halloween.
6. Says random words out loud- don't worry; it's how she remembers things.
5. In her notes she draws pictures of likely suspects, should she be captured.
4. Views Utopia as the Ancient Roman Empire.
3. She OWNS Portugal
2. Never too young to be an ESPION!
1. IS a 14 year old English boy.
Top Ten Things Liel Has In Common with France
10. She's smaller than Texas
9. She loves to read Tintin
8. Her read hair is a majestic beacon of baguettes
7. It's like she's trying to SPEAK to me, I know it!
6. She was invaded and easily subdued
5. Only eats on egg because one egg's "enough."
4. Her skirt is white and I like it.
3. People come from all around the world to see her.
2. She has an emperor problem
1. She speaks French... well, sort of.
Top Ten Things Liel has in common with Religious Characters:
10. Her middle name is Mohammed
9. She has 6 arms and is made out of bronze
8. She is a fat China man
7. She wears veils... amazing, technicolor DREAM veils
6. She keeps turning her pencils into worms
5. She almost got burned with Joan of Arc b/c of her hair
4. She is tight like unto a dish
3. She thinks she's the only one who has been chosen to be saved.
2. She stands on the streets wearing a barrel and preaching about the "fin du monde"
1. Corporeal mortification is high on her "to do" list.
5 comments:
This is the best list ever in the history of lists.
I can actually hear Sariah's voice in my head saying these.
Oh man, in retrospect some of those sound vaguely sketchy...I especially like this one: "She's smaller than Texas."
Ooooh I found more! (Though I edited them to be more pertinent to today)
Top Nine Things "Bessie" has in common with the original olympians
9 Their rippling pectorals
8 Always walking around nude
7 Their pure greek heritage
6 Trained by a satyr (but wiser)
5 One can always find odd items on their person, including (but not limited to): a discus, a hurdle, and a personal Greek sculptor
4 They see non-Greek speakers as lower beings and barbarians of lesser cultures
3 Often stop what they're doing to pose like Greek sculptures
2 Got gold medals in spelling in 2nd grade
1 Related to uncle jesse from full house (what did this have to do with anything?)
The top eleven reasons why kristen is a heretic
11. she turned me into a newt! (I got better)
10 she doesn't believe in wearing clothes
9. she's bringing sexy back, which was the leading cause of burnings at the stake in the 15th century
8. she's been excommunicated by the pope.
7. she is of a foreign race, and her grandparents aren't in camps because of it.
6. she's from albi.
5. once she taped a paper on Scott called her "95 theses of why I love Justin Timberlake"
4. she told Landon that she hates service and it doesn't make her happy
3. she's in love with pennsylvania, which is known for its protestant cults
2. she was condemned to be burned at the stake...twice.
1. she WAS burned at the stake...twice.
Top Ten signs you have connections with the mafia
10 people ask you for "a favor" in exchange for "an offer you can't resist."
9 all your blind dates start at the docks.
8 you notice that everyone you get in arguments with just dissapear...
7 for your fourth day your "uncles" gave you a bullet-proof vest.
6 people keep asking, "who's YOUR godfather"?
5 your family keeps getting relocated after you accidentaly speak italian at school
4 you noticce you're being followed by tall, dark, strong men in sunglasses everywhere you go
3 you never have to pay taxes
2 you notice that your life bears striking resemblances to "the sopranos" and "corkey romano"
1 your wife's maiden name is "capone."
Ooooh I found more! (Though I edited them to be more pertinent to today)
Top Nine Things "Bessie" has in common with the original olympians
9 Their rippling pectorals
8 Always walking around nude
7 Their pure greek heritage
6 Trained by a satyr (but wiser)
5 One can always find odd items on their person, including (but not limited to): a discus, a hurdle, and a personal Greek sculptor
4 They see non-Greek speakers as lower beings and barbarians of lesser cultures
3 Often stop what they're doing to pose like Greek sculptures
2 Got gold medals in spelling in 2nd grade
1 Related to uncle jesse from full house (what did this have to do with anything?)
The top eleven reasons why kristen is a heretic
11. she turned me into a newt! (I got better)
10 she doesn't believe in wearing clothes
9. she's bringing sexy back, which was the leading cause of burnings at the stake in the 15th century
8. she's been excommunicated by the pope.
7. she is of a foreign race, and her grandparents aren't in camps because of it.
6. she's from albi.
5. once she taped a paper on Scott called her "95 theses of why I love Justin Timberlake"
4. she told Landon that she hates service and it doesn't make her happy
3. she's in love with pennsylvania, which is known for its protestant cults
2. she was condemned to be burned at the stake...twice.
1. she WAS burned at the stake...twice.
Top Ten signs you have connections with the mafia
10 people ask you for "a favor" in exchange for "an offer you can't resist."
9 all your blind dates start at the docks.
8 you notice that everyone you get in arguments with just dissapear...
7 for your fourth day your "uncles" gave you a bullet-proof vest.
6 people keep asking, "who's YOUR godfather"?
5 your family keeps getting relocated after you accidentaly speak italian at school
4 you noticce you're being followed by tall, dark, strong men in sunglasses everywhere you go
3 you never have to pay taxes
2 you notice that your life bears striking resemblances to "the sopranos" and "corkey romano"
1 your wife's maiden name is "capone."
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