I am blind and my dog is dead

Ways I am Like a German Shepherd:
-German ancestry
-Commonly connected to security, drugs and war
-Some people find intimidating, scary
-Precisely bred to be a hard worker and awesome
-Long hair, though somewhat rare
-Known for intelligence and loyalty
-A favorite among dog lovers
-Sometimes hangs out at dog parks
-Strong jaw, with scissor-like bite
-Double coat
-Bond well with children with whom familiar
-Aloof
-Approachable, but not usually friendly with strangers
-Over-protective of family when not socialized appropriately
-Arthritis
-Bloat
-Prone to ear infections
-Starred in 80s German sitcoms
-Occasionally work with Will Smith or Joaquin Phoenix
-Love of meat

How I am Like Blind People:
-Can't see well
-Enjoys music
-Frequently runs into walls, door frames, or stubs toes
-Sometimes seen with dogs
-Have a favorite breed of dog, specifically, German Shepherds
-Occasionally associated with Tiresias
-Used as a metaphor in a Bob Dylan song
-Similarities to Geordi la Forge

self-evaluation, pt II

Things I'm Good At, and By Good I Mean Average:
-Overeating on holidays
-Dancing
-Empathizing
-Cooking
-TXTMSGing
-The internets
-Reading

Things I'm Bad At:
-Arithmetic
-The Alphabet
-German
-Poetry
-Interior decoration
-Relating to others in a visible way
-Getting excited about things, especially if it's not in my own life
-Research
-Pointing my toes
-Being competitive (I kind of like being ridiculous instead)

Things I'm Good At, Legitimately:
-The silent treatment (often not on purpose)
-Avoiding eye contact with people
-Making stories up that people take as true
-Inside Jokes
-Being the best-kept secret at Campus Plaza (haha, in reality this one is making fun of myself... and others too, actually)
-Staring at others without shame. Especially if I'm not wearing my glasses.
-Wasting time

Standing Ovation

Things That Make You Clap (For Applause):
-A good performance
-Actually, just about any performance in America in the world
-A child performing a talent
-Magic tricks that are cool
-Talent shows, even if they are more non-talent shows
-Speeches (unless they're insulting/ ridiculously bad)
-For some people, good movies

Things That Make You Clap (For Negative Energy Expulsion):
-Bad karma
-Anxiety attacks
-Contention
-Bad spirits/ houses built over Indian cemeteries
-People with bad additudes
-Paparazzi

Other Things That Make You Clap:
-Really really funny jokes
-Extreme happiness/ amusement
-Sing alongs/ a good beat
-Insects (most the flying kinds)
-Figuring out the sound of one-handed claps
-Scaring creatures smaller and/or more stupid
-Sometimes an alternative to light switches
-Calling an animal/person to attention/ to you
-In olden times, calling students to school
-In some countries, an alternative to knocking on the door
-Dancing