Top ten lists from study abroad, transcribed with one hand while whisking something on the stove

Top Ten Clues that Liel is an FBI Agent:
10. Dark suit.  Dark glasses.  Head mics.
9. Dark hair.
8. Perfect disguise: LDS international student.
7. Accidentally tried to put her rifle in her holster and had to pretend she was being a cowboy for Halloween.
6. Says random words out loud- don't worry; it's how she remembers things.
5. In her notes she draws pictures of likely suspects, should she be captured.
4. Views Utopia as the Ancient Roman Empire.
3. She OWNS Portugal
2. Never too young to be an ESPION!
1. IS a 14 year old English boy.

Top Ten Things Liel Has In Common with France
10. She's smaller than Texas
9. She loves to read Tintin
8. Her read hair is a majestic beacon of baguettes
7. It's like she's trying to SPEAK to me, I know it!
6. She was invaded and easily subdued
5. Only eats on egg because one egg's "enough."
4. Her skirt is white and I like it.
3. People come from all around the world to see her.
2. She has an emperor problem
1. She speaks French... well, sort of.

Top Ten Things Liel has in common with Religious Characters:
10. Her middle name is Mohammed
9. She has 6 arms and is made out of bronze
8. She is a fat China man
7. She wears veils... amazing, technicolor DREAM veils
6. She keeps turning her pencils into worms
5. She almost got burned with Joan of Arc b/c of her hair
4. She is tight like unto a dish
3. She thinks she's the only one who has been chosen to be saved.
2. She stands on the streets wearing a barrel and preaching about the "fin du monde"
1. Corporeal mortification is high on her "to do" list.